sewing the wounds while the seeds sprout

but my eyes are dry today, it’s no coincidence. i’ve run out of tears. i became overburdened with unwanted emotion and tried to fake normalcy and make good of my daily routine again but some other tragedy struck which hit me behind the knees and i tumbled to my ass.  i spent my past night in earnest conversation with tweedle-dee and it was of great consolation to me. a kindred spirit and another word-artist, and it felt good to speak poetically and unashamed, as well as entirely undisguised. it’s odd, but he said that in a way he envies my bond with the tarnished knight; and in him saying this, i’m confident he knows how sincere i am.

i pray only that my otherwise tough heart is not made frail by this bond which would crush me to find is imaginary.. when he puts me at ease the serenity is great.. but with my recent life’s dramas.. the queen mother growing mad and distant, i must move away.

i changed my alarm tone to “Today” by KMFDM on a whim. didn’t even remember any of the lyrics, but oh God did they chill me when I woke… I’ll have to change it again. i’m trying to shake this melancholy.

When you leave it’s like I disappear
Everytime you go it feels like
Seconds slowly turn to minutes
A month of Sundays coming up
Time again it pulls me under
Wonder if I’ll ever rise above
It’s too much but not enough

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