and i lay in bed alone on my back, tears leaking from my closed eyes as my will to rest was betrayed again by restlessness.
unrequited, or at least unacknowledged friendship.. i tell myself i’m better off alone and know it to be true but the torment will not exit my memory sequences and my brain is in actual physical pain..
then days go by and i feel fully submerged in solitude again and the sounds of my own worry start to drown as well. the anchor has hit bedrock and i drift in place, alone with moonlight and sunlight alternating as carnivorous fish pick away at my exposed flesh. i feel peace as my corporeal being disintegrates bit by bit. feeding the lower food chain bit by bit. currents and tides help to loosen my bones from the bindings which hold me fastened to the anchor, but for now i am not drifting away quite yet.