after the eclipse the truth changed

and i lay in bed alone on my back, tears leaking from my closed eyes as my will to rest was betrayed again by restlessness. unrequited, or at least unacknowledged friendship..  i tell myself i’m better off alone and know it to be true but the torment will not exit my memory sequences and my […]

i don’t know, but the word isn’t brave

i spent three and a half hours writing an email last night, and about 15 minutes fighting with my nerves over hitting the send button before submitting it.. and finally got repose. five hours of wonderful, quiet, dreamless sleep.  praise gaea. it meant so much to me that i wanted to share, but that’s all i really […]

sadnesses failing to forge words

or merely to pose prose in form. sorry. just another lousy dead-end lonely-heart post. sorry. i’ve got that weight at the end of my silver string choirs of angels bellowing i don’t know what i was thinking. i could never pull it off. the biggest lie i could tell myself, why did i have to […]

set adrift, i caught myself on a buoy

the tarnished knight is so stoic and rarely expressive, i find myself being more radically honest with him than with anyone else. it’s successful often enough in getting him to talk and finding that we usually see eye to eye, and that’s how i’ve gotten to feel so keenly entwined with him, even if i’m […]

maybe through the looking glass, maybe not the future?

i suddenly realized i was swimming, or being held underwater, and holding my breath, and i believe my first instinct was to have grace and not panic but to focus and not let my heart rate spike. i was immediately aware that this was a testing facility and that this was not an attempt to […]

it’s been an awfully long week

if i have my headphones on, and the right song comes on, i shut my eyes, take a deep breath. for a second i can remember the smell of the wind when we were scaling that mountain hand in hand, and it was cold, but you kept your grip steady, you helped me press forward, […]

admit one and one are one

doesn’t matter how much i want to fill this void with sounds and sensations and landscapes, i have words and frustration right now, and the gravity is overwhelming at times. i have the most wonderful friend in the Cheshire Cat when he must be called upon, too often i find myself choosing to be alone […]

i’m just going to take a leap

shut my eyes a second, remind myself that no one else reads these things anyway, and say what i only wanted to say to myself anyway. i want for him to decide he needs to forge his way through the other universe and see me, i want that one Knight whose ember smoulders for only […]

’til dawn, i hadn’t been looking to my toes

my eyes to the sky, i only pointed to heaven with my nose, praying to Orion; as in my youth he knows– the ember in the other universe still glows. then light came and day broke, and in my mind my heart spoke but it was a lie, it’s always a fib, a fable, or […]